For those of you that are fortunate enough not to be a commuter in the Bay Area, this will seem a little harsh to you, but I'm sure there will be a few people that agree with me (if not, then fuck you all).
I don't have to commute on a daily basis, but a few times a week I make the trip from Palo Alto to Pleasanton and vice versa in the mornings. My available paths from work on those days are as follows:
o 101-S to 237-E to 880-N to Mission Blvd to 680-N
o 101-N to 84-E to 880-N to 580-E to 680-S
There are a few other ways, but these are the two main ways to get there. You can get creative and go 92E, but as Chevy Chase so elegantly put it in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, "Whatever Russ." Really, no matter which way I go, I tell myself the same thing every single day when I'm slowing down due to the sea of bright red break lights in front of me... Welcome to the Shit Show.
Here are some key items that make my commute more of a pain in the ass:
1) Prius': I'm all down for GO GREEN, saving the environment, not leaving a carbon footprint, BLAH BLAH BLAH, but not at the cost of driving the rest of the people on the road insane. People that own a Prius think they are doing everyone a favor, so not only do they feel obligated to drive 10 miles under the speed limit (to save gas, duh), but they've got those stupid stickers that makes them able to drive in the Commuter lane without any restrictions. Worst, idea, EVER.
2) 30+ Asian Drivers: I had to throw the "30+" in there because it doesn't seem to be a problem with the younger generation, but if you're a thirty plus Asian and you drive either a Toyota Prius or a Mazda MPV, the rest of the people have three words for you, "Eat. A. Dick." You just get in the way, that's all there is to it. Not one of you have any concept of merging, negotiating turns or have any sense of depth perception.
3) 18 Wheelers: This has never really been an issue of mine until recently, but for fucks sake guys (and the rare bull-dike), you know what time traffic hits the Bay Area. Regardless, why don't you pull over at a truck/rest stop for 3 hours and sleep/hang out/get drunk/etc? You DO NOT help the traffic situation in the slightest and I'm not even saying it's your fault, but when an incident happens with a big rig, the consequences are usually ten-fold when it comes to the damage done, the length of time it takes to clear it off the roadway and the amount of rubberneckers you attract.
4) Woman Drivers: There is an old Redneck joke that fairly depicts why woman shouldn't drive: Why do women have smaller feet? So they can stand closer to the sink. I'll just leave that one alone though. Exhibit A.
Morale is: If you ever see a 45 year old Asian woman driving an 18 wheeler full of Prius'... get out of your car and RUN.
